Goodbye Uncle K..

post drafted on 26th November 2012...

Last Saturday, my uncle passed away ...

He has been battling his heart problem for more than 17 years... It all started one day, 17 years ago at my home in Jakarta. My parents and my uncle were all getting ready for their holiday trip to Thailand the next day. My uncle received a phone call from my grandma, who was babysitting his children back in his hometown.

Phone calls 17 years ago, I guess... are not as advanced as now. There were no handheld portable phones like what we all have right now. I remembered this bulky black phone which was portable that we had at home since we didn't have the land line phone yet.

The phone calls were not as clear, but my uncle got a shock! He thought something happened to the kids back home, as my grandma kept on mentioning my cousin's name again and again ... It turned out that she was asking whether my cousin's spectacle was mistakenly packed into his luggage. Problem solved within the next half an hour or so. However, not my uncle.  He was pale and feeling giddy. My dad suggested he go to the hospital.

We all got a shock as well when it turned out that my uncle just had a heart attack! His blood vessels were blocked and he had to receive an emergency injection shots to help the situation. His situation turned for the better luckily, although in the end he and my dad had to miss the Thailand trip, but it's all for the better right!

After that, he received a surgery in Singapore to install a 'pacemaker' to help the heart. Since that day, my uncle had had his pacemaker cable changed, battery changed twice too. These operations burned a big hole in his pocket. My uncle used to say that he has at least 2 cars worth in his chest, but he got his life back and he got to spend time with his family.

This year, I got a message from my sister in Jakarta. She said, my uncle and auntie were coming to Singapore for consultation, as my uncle was experiencing difficulty in breathing. This was back in early September. I got a feeling something was not right. When I fetch him at the airport he looked tired and breathless. I decided to accompany him to the doctor.

His doctor of 17 years explained the situation. His heart function was declining ... down to 20% from the previous check at 25-30%. He suggested a surgery, to exchange the current pacemaker that he had which has 2 cables, to another pacemaker with 3 cables, and to insert/attach another cable to help to regulate the heart beat.  It is complicated, and it has its risks, and there is no 100% guarantee that it would recover the much needed help for the heart (subject to body condition and the working condition of the pacemaker itself). My uncle contemplated to whether he need this operation... The doctor asked us to go back and think about it, and let them know the decision.

After many many explanation later, we managed to convince him to do the surgery to replace his pacemaker. However, the morning before the operation the doctor called us in, and said that it cannot be done. He was reviewing the case when he realised there were already 3 cables inside the artery, which 1 of them was already old (17 years old) and wasn't working anymore. The X-ray revealed the crack on the old cable. The surgery can't be done, in terms of there is very little success that the artery can hold 4 cables at one time. Even if the artery could hold 4 cables, the blood flow might be affected, and my uncle could have a swollen arm as there won't be enough blood pumped to the arm.

One way to do is to remove the old, broken cable and replaced with a new one. There is one problem though ... that cable has been inside there for 17 years ... It was most probably (surely) already blended together with the artery wall. If it was to be removed, it has to be done very carefully, or it might tear the artery and create bleeding. To stop this bleeding, an experienced surgeon has to be on standby to stop the bleeding. He went on to explain that to stop the bleeding, it might take 5 minutes ... which by then, we do not know for sure whether my uncle's heart would last that long... So, the doctor said, there is a risk that my uncle could die at the operating theatre if there was a bleeding.

It was scary to hear and saddening to think... As I explain this to my cousins. My uncle and his family decided not to do the surgery. He said that he was already 70 years old, all his children are married and with kids. He had seen enough, and he thank the doctor for his help for the past 17 years. That was back in September ... just days before my 33rd birthday.

My auntie gave me a 'hongbao'  for my birthday. About a week before that, me and my husband gave my uncle a 'hongbao' too as it was his 70th birthday.

Thinking about it now, his last birthday was celebrated here with my family. I still have the photos too, with my daughter cheekily laughing away as they blow the candles together and cut the cake together. Yet now, less than 2 months after ... he is gone ... forever ...

Without treatment, I know he wouldn't last long ... but I didn't expect it will be this soon... My last words to him was Goodbye uncle, and see you soon in Indonesia.

I heard from my Dad that my uncle will be buried on Wednesday. I am not able to see him for the last time because I have family to care here, however, I wish that wherever he is now, he is in a better place.

Goodbye uncle ...